where your spice meets mine

If only~

2010-01-15T03:54:00.000+10:00

~I had something to smile about

Back Tat

2010-01-05T17:28:00.002+10:00

What a nice gesture!

Welcome to Beijing

2009-10-30T03:34:00.002+10:00

Not a bottom

It was one of those moments where it just happened so naturally~

A sign, an image and a thirst. Having a camera helped, too.

Speechless

2009-08-07T03:42:00.001+10:00

Talk to me. Put words in my mouth.

Unexpected package

2009-08-04T03:12:00.001+10:00

No comment

Finger on my lens, again

2009-07-13T04:36:00.002+10:00

You know your watch in Sanlitun

Still getting used to my new hand-me-down camera and its lens where I usually put my finger. Not that that blur takes away from this shot, by any means.

Tanline limits

2009-06-28T00:18:00.002+10:00

Where should the tanlines end?

No revealing tats

2009-06-21T18:20:00.004+10:00

No revealing tattoos

There will be plenty of photographic evidence of my having gone crazy at this party - Yen's 5th anniversary. It was a timely outlet for the pent-up frustration building up inside me. My friends could not know how much pressure I am under, but surely they could guess my crazed behaviour was due to some stress they had hitherto unknown. At least I was a happy madman - with the best of friends.

Tuanjiehu Park Pool

2009-06-14T23:50:00.001+10:00

Anonymous hot guy

The first visit there a couple of days ago was awesome. The BF & I joined a couple of friends in the gay quarter. It was like being at Destination - minus the smoke-filled rooms & predictable music. My beginner's luck did not let me down ~ when entering the change room for the very first time, there was a tall, beefy & HUNG Chinese guy all lathered up in the shower giving everyone a full show of himself. Good thing we could cool down in the pool right away!

Proxy workaround - updated!

2009-05-20T15:52:00.001+10:00

Sad to say my blog is no longer easily accessible in China.

The Blogspot/Blogger domain has been fire-walled.

So posting this is done via a free - though slow and inconsistent - proxy.

Hope things return to 'normal' again soon.

VPN rocks!
Right past the GFW!

My hard day at the office

2009-05-14T22:20:00.001+10:00

For today's filming, I wasn't expecting this.

It was *almost* enough just watching him.

But it turns out oiling him up was tops.

An H&M in My Hood!

2009-05-13T20:21:00.001+10:00

Opening tomorrow across the street from my place!

Sauna, scrub and massage

2009-05-13T01:29:00.000+10:00

At long last we made our way over again to the small public bath house at Beixinqiao for a sauna, body scrub and a massage. While I was on the table, I couldn't help but wonder who takes this kind of job. Is it a booming business or are fewer people going? There were no other customers at what I would guess should be a busy time in the evening. The place is quite clean and the sauna, turned on for our arrival, heated up quite quickly. After about an hour there, I felt squeaky clean!

(Photo to come)

Super horny daze

2009-05-05T22:26:00.001+10:00

Starts out with the long weekend at the Strawberry Festival,
then ends up with me naked in bed in front of a film crew -

with another guy... and I'm going back for more!

Hot DJ... has a name~ Jaume Prats

Questionably hot - certainly crazy - DJ

Hot half-naked boy

Super-cute bartender whipping up Mojitos

In all fairness, none of the three days at the Strawberry Festival in Tongzhou led me to the point of getting naked in front of a camera - during or after. Though I did get 'lost' on the way back to my place on the first night. I couldn't hold myself any longer after drinking so much and had to get off the train to find a washroom, somewhere - anywhere! Still not used to the no-walls in many of Beijing's public washrooms. Potentially cruisy places, I suppose - but there's no way I could endure the smell any longer than it took to empty my bladder.

So how did I end up naked in front of a film crew with another guy, you ask? Well, I wish I could give all the details, but due to the terms of my contract I'm really not allowed to divulge anything about this movie. However, I can and will say: it is a gay film, I get to be naked with another guy and there are more nude scenes to be shot in the coming days. Exciting, to say the least!

Gayographic Night at Lantung (兰棠同志之夜）

2009-04-29T16:22:00.000+10:00

The Beijinger.com's view of Lantung

One Thursday evening last month I went to Lantung in Solana for what was supposed to be the start of a new gay night. Only 20 people showed up, but no matter - I was in great company, the drinks were cheap & tasty and the music was as gay as it gets.

One gripe was the trek one has to make from the taxi stand to Bar Street. To be fair, it was cold and windy that night, but we found cutting through the underground parkade to be a warmer way back.

So here's hoping that tomorrow night's "Gayographic Night at Lantung" will be e great success! (There are already 41 confirmed guests according to their Facebook group.)

More about this event here.

16-1 Solana, 6 Chaoyang Gongyuan Lu, Chaoyang District (5905 6213) 朝阳区朝阳公园路6号蓝色港湾国际商区16-1

H&M's Double Opening

2009-04-29T14:23:00.000+10:00

Opening day in Qianmen

I became a fan of H&M even before I ever stepped foot in one of their shops.

(Thanks to you-know-who-you-are for that cute scarf!)

Finally, H&M came to Vancouver, and now they're here in Beijing. Aside from the great selection of clothing that actually fits my body, H&M stores are one of the best places to see one of the largest assortment of hot gay men outside a gay club.

Naturally, it was nothing short of madness at the Qianmen location opening last Thursday. Even the rain couldn't dampen the crowds. Tomorrow will surely see even more people at the Xidan opening, even if the forecast for rain comes true.

Great Walls of Fire!

2009-04-10T17:17:00.000+10:00

It looks like recent moves by China’s NetNanny, aka the Great Fire Wall (GFW) has shut-out the blogger.com domain, as well as YouTube.
There are backdoors, of course. But I can’t go into the gory details.

Here’s hoping Windows Live Writer will come to the rescue!

Games at Destination

2009-03-12T20:04:00.001+10:00

CCTV sucks - again, again & yet again

2009-02-24T02:10:00.000+10:00

Three strikes for CCTV. They are now permanently out.
Not on my TV set or computer screen ever again.

As a guest in China, I rarely get terribly political about much.

But my main reason for staying here is because of the tolerance towards homosexuality even the Chinese leadership has espoused.

But there will be no more graciousness from me for the network which blatantly broke the law and caused a spectacular fire that killed one fireman and injured 7 others ealier this month. Their negligence may even lead to a ban on fireworks in Beijing next year. Their legal wrecklessness is one thing.

Now their moral judgement has sunk to a new low by not only editing out parts of Sean Penn's acceptance speech at the Oscars for his role in "Milk", but also by not even to bother correctly translating what he had to say.

So much for tolerance at CCTV.

Watch what he really had to say here!

Valentine's Day & Night

2009-02-16T20:52:00.000+10:00

In the wee hours of the Valentine's Day we had already known for only on few hours that we (and the entire 11th floor of our building) would have to move out of our place next to Destination in Gongti.

So we decided to head over to Destination - one "last" time with a group of friends and got drunk - one of us more than other. I ran into an old friend and he introduced me to a Chinese friend of his who spoke great Japanese and so we pera-pera'd all night - tanoshikatta! It was the BF's turn to get drunk, and he didn't disppoint ;-) I was amazed he didn't have a hang over when we awoke relatively early.

One of our neighbours decided to help us find a place, so it was he who ran around to a few estate agents and within 12 hours we had new place to move into near Dongzhimen - incredibly just a few 100 metres from where we set off our first fireworks with friends at the start of Chinese New Year. Is that destiny or what?

The BF's family and I went out to pick strawberries in the north of Beijing on Valentine's Day. Then it was off to have sushi with friends at The Place for dinner. From there it was off to another friend's house for a Valentine's Day party where it was suggested tops wear blue and bottoms wear red. Not everyone participated in the dress code. I wasn't sure what to wear, if anything at all. In the end I wore blue and the BF wore red. I did my best to chat up all the reds ;-)

We knew there was a Fridae-sponsored event at Destination but were shocked to see such a huge line up outside when we arrived. It turned out to be blast and not as crowded as I'd thought. The music was fine and there were so many new faces. I wonder where they usually hang out ~

Not leaving Destination alone
In case you're wondering, the BF took this shot

Valentine's Day gay wedding in Qianmen, Beijing~

Want those plates ...

2009-02-13T15:31:00.000+10:00

... but not that van.

Naturally the 京GAY is significant,

but so is the 824 because it's my BF's birthdate!

Whatever...

2009-01-09T23:35:00.000+10:00

OK, I know I'm a bit of a wanker for not always replying to the oddballs that send me messages on the various 'dating' sites I'm on, but really - when it comes to this, sigh...

hi,I send message to you last night,but now i see the last time you loged on is 9th,so maybe you dont want to talk with me,but if you dont like me,you can say you dont want to talk,why silent?i think i must be not good enough for you,so if you dont want to talk to me,its the last time i send to you,be friends or not,is up to you.

Maybe I just put too much of myself out there, sigh.

New gay club in Beijing - G9

2008-12-18T15:34:00.000+10:00

Entrance to G9

Santa and one of his elves

2008-12-17T22:09:00.000+10:00

Thanks to UKNakedMen.com

Sign of Solidarity...

2008-12-17T19:20:00.000+10:00

... and compassion.

Tedious Destination

2008-12-10T16:59:00.000+10:00

What the hell is this place up to?

Where is their justification for raising prices on admission and drinks?
Consumer prices are coming down in the midst of looming deflation. Hello?

The security guys are a downright rude bunch of goons: perhaps a good thing if you hadn't already bought an (overpriced) entrance ticket and were just loitering about and looked like a gay-basher.

One last photo of summer

2008-11-20T12:40:00.000+10:00

Welcome me back!

From the final days of summer, to the return to Beijing, I'm back.
Reading back on the posts I kept under wraps while I sorted out my Vancouver departure, I realised I'd left not a moment too soon. I was obviously not myself without my better half those lost six months. The past 8 weeks here in his arms are just what I need to put my suspicions to rest and get on with our lives together.

The man, the bag or both?

2008-09-08T12:56:00.001+10:00

A Louis Vuitton Man-Bag,

a fine accessory
for a fine guy.

No love lost

2008-08-30T15:21:00.001+10:00

Another drunken excuse for another missed call. It makes me feel that much less important when he can't do what he says he will. Every night this week I left any engagement to be home early enough to catch him upon awaking at noon. I even went as far as waking up early enough to be there when he said he would. At least we could chat on the phone, but it wasn't the same, nor was it enough.

Some kind of nag I must be, which according to many means I must really love him. And I suppose for many, this kind of nagging is appreciated as a sign of love. I do understand that, but I don't agree with it for two reasons. The first is, I don't handle this stress well. The second is, I don't have to accept this stress. I don't find any justification for love under stress.

Meanwhile, he doesn't nag me about anything. I doubt his lack of nagging is because he doesn't love me. He says he does - all the time. Conversely, my nagging must mean I love him. Tricky.

So instead of changing my Facebook relationship status from 'engaged' to something else, I won't. It clearly doesn't have any value to any number of people anyway, least of all his Best Friend, who is cutely 'engaged' to their mutual girlfriend. Just empty words. At the same time, I don't want to alarm others, such as family, prematurely.

Does that mean there is hope? Symbolically, I no longer wear the ring he gave me. There's no love lost.

Ring-less

2008-08-28T20:49:00.000+10:00

It has to be written about. Just as much as it had to be talked about. But then it's sometimes easier to give up and hang up. Ignore it altogether? Not quite.

The 'cultural difference' card was played. Married men and women in Asia don't usually wear wedding rings. I'm glad I was told this before I married an Asian.

On a show I watched this afternoon, an American guy, no less a polygamist, who was falling for another woman realised he was still wearing his wedding ring upon knocking at her door. (Shouldn't he have been wearing 3 of them? One for each of his wives?) He promptly removed it before she answered.

In a later scene, the significance of the ring was discussed at a meeting with fellow polygamists. For most, removing it implied intent to have an affair, to fuck around or to cheat on their wives. Yeah, that's a big cultural difference.

So, why have I decided not to wear the ring any more? Mostly because I need to know how it feels to go without it. It can easily be forgotten, left at home or even lost. Yes, it sure can. And with it a lot of significance.

And how does it feel? A lot like those other situations where I know I shouldn't be so sentimental, lest I feel utterly out of control of my emotions. I've let those be manipulated in the name of trust. And so the trusting begins anew.

The nondescript wait

2008-08-26T15:50:00.001+10:00

Could be I waited for the wrong reasons.
Gave in to the wait with no plan for myself.
Destined myself to getting help in waiting rooms.

A cold, wet and windy Sunday

2008-08-25T10:22:00.001+10:00

Earlier in the week I'd regretted not enclosing a birthday present for Xiao Lin in the pricey package of papers I'd sent by courier the week before. I still do. But I had planned to call this weekend. Most certainly, I would call.

Though as the the weekend drew closer, I felt a hastened distance and sensed an unsettling obfuscation. I wouldn't call it intuition (because there have been too many revelations over the past couple of months and numerous more in recent days) that did not have me call him after all.

The usual, careful refrain from even mentioning Jason's name in passing had become so commonplace that even with baited breath - devoid of teasing - could I eventually elicit some twist of the truth. An account of the birthday party left Jason dangling as an afterthought. Until the startling revelation he'd spent the night and day sleeping (?) alone (?) at Jason's place.

Despite his first real step to come clean and acknowledge his actions, he chose instead to throw up a flurry of excuses as to why he had to stay at Jason's. Deep down he must have been relieved not to have had to lie again, and so it was spun that he thought that this was what I had wanted. Of course, it is! Anything, but the lies. However, what in fact happened was still not even worth mentioning. One step at a time.

I am hardly upset or at all surprised. I grateful there was no malice in telling me what I'd rather know than not. Everyone wins. Xiao Lin can be more relaxed in Beijing. Jason, too. The summer was - and still is for another month - theirs. The puzzler: how is it I knew better than to call and disturb him, I mean, them? That's where I win.

Old Marine Drive

2008-08-16T07:12:00.000+10:00

Entrance to the free parking area. Heading south on Marine Drive, take the first right after 16th. Note the closing time is changed by the Parks Department according to the time the sun sets. Trail 7 is just before the WC on the left about 1km down this road.

A new sign on Trail 7

2008-08-15T07:11:00.000+10:00

It had to go up sometime.

Taking a break

2008-08-14T01:48:00.000+10:00

Getting some night air on a break from Buddy Night

Love NBC

2008-08-13T14:13:00.000+10:00

New Olympic event: Nude Shower Doubles

Underwear theif?

2008-08-08T04:04:00.001+10:00

I contemplated stealing those Ginch Gonch (coming down the ladder) when he took them off and hung them up to dry in the sun. In the end I didn't steal them, of course.

The other side of the yacht

2008-08-05T22:40:00.000+10:00

On a cruise out into English Bay on a sunny afternoon.

MB's belt buckle

2008-08-04T02:43:00.000+10:00

Pride Vancouver 2008 is fully underway. Lineups at every venue stretch to surprising lengths. Out-of-towners can easily be spotted or heard and sure make for a more festive atmosphere.
Getting enough sleep - at least getting into bed - has proven to be a lot easier than first imagined.

Correction: FB said Title should be MB, not FB. OK - done ;-)

Packing up - 2

2008-08-02T06:02:00.000+10:00

I usually don't take photos of guys I don't know at Wreck Beach without their consent.

I decided that this one was 'safe' because their faces couldn't be made out with the setting sun behind their backs and what with using my cheap cellcam.
I won't say when it was taken or anything more about them,
other than that they were a cute group of hot Asian guys.
They didn't even get completely naked, which I don't begrudge them.

Recently, I'm all for tan lines!

Rather explosive

2008-08-01T06:45:00.000+10:00

A fine evening with friends at a perfect spot on the beach at English Bay Park watching China's display of fireworks in the HSBC Celebration of Light. As the evening progressed, the fireworks and my temper grew more explosive. I'm not sure what set me off - perhaps all the questions I didn't have answers to. Well into the night and early hours of the morning, I finally gave up trying to figure out what I could and should believe after sifting through the lies that I keep getting served up on a golden platter.

What did I do wrong? Should I not have asked so many questions? Should I just colour the lies white? Should I simply accept words at face value? For now, I'm going to put my head in the sand and ignore the new pains in the old wounds - literally. The original affected area on my leg has started to become infected again. Alcohol will help immensely until I decide it's time to go seek medical attention.

Summer - for me, finally

2008-07-27T10:07:00.000+10:00

Sure, it's been hot for most of July but only now can I start to enjoy it. Nevermind that it's cloudy and somewhat cool today, yesterday was not only hot, but humid. So it was perfect timing to find a watermelon I'd bought the other day - and had fogotten about til yesterday - chilling in my fridge. I was a little out of practice in cutting one open! It was so sweet ... and still is. Can't believe I've already eaten half of it.

To add to the feel of summer, tonight will be the second of six firework shows at English Bay Park. I didn't go the first on Wednesday because I was still delerious from the medication I was taking, though I did catch some of its fuzzy colours from the street out in front of the friends' home I've been staying at while convalescing. Still semi-residing there ... which is precisely why I would have forgotten about what's in the fridge at my own place.

Unless it's actually raining, I'll finally get over to the Oasis at Wreck Beach tomorrow. There have been many reports in the gay press and from word-of-mouth that the RCMP have been 'warning' people parking along Old Marine Drive (the convenient spot to park one's wheels at the top of Trail 7) tabout people having sex in the woods. The horror! Many surmise the increased police activity has been due to the ever-encroaching new residences nearby. Some even fret the end of the nudist era at Wreck Beach will come to an end before long. All the more reason to go down and find out what's going on firsthand.

Renewing my view of time

2008-07-20T21:48:00.001+10:00

One year on. Maintaining eternal truth and happiness in the time I fared on my own proved to be a dark journey. What demons pulled me into a life of denial and false hope I have seen before. They are not insurmountable, as I have proven time and again. No one else can pull me out of lies I tell myself.

It's time now that I face the reality of my limits and find a balanced approach to a peaceful mind and loving heart. From there my enduring spirit can take on any devious demon and guide me to a harmonious place right here, right now and forever.

Frequent lapses in precious time were whiled away because of my own lack of self respect and respect for others. How I ask for, receive and accept their love and support must be humbly addressed and carefully acknowledged. These changes won't be put off any longer and only time will tell how successfully achieved they were!

Beach Volleyball

2008-07-20T11:34:00.000+10:00

A stroll along English Bay Park was a perfect way to relax after work.

Watching these guys have so much fun made me want to join in.
Have to heal completely first :-(

VGH

2008-07-17T23:20:00.001+10:00

Ambulance bay at Vancouver General Hospital

Now that the worst is over, I can accurately report what has been bringing me here since the end of last month. In preparation for the last weekend of June, I trimmed my pubes and shaved my balls, as I have been ever since I was 18. The next day I felt an itch and on checking what the cause was, couldn't see anything unusual. The following day - wham! Much more than a pimple had developed. I tried various topical ointments and salves, but nothing worked.
Clearly, it was an infection gone from bad to worse. The pain was unbearable, so I decided to go to a local walk-in clinic on May 30, but it was closed for the long weekend. I then walked over to St. Paul's hospital, however walked out after less than 2 minutes of being there because the notorious cabal of junkies and mentally-challenged in the reception area of the emergency room were too much to bear. With the help of a friend via sms, I tried 3 other walk-in clinics. All were closed. Vancouver General Hospital (VGH) turned out to be the best place after all. And it's roughly the sam distance from my place as St. Paul's. It did take a long time to be seen initially after waiting at the triage desk for an hour, being admitted and then waiting again for a doctor to see me. But since then, I have consistently been able to make their requested follow-up visits in a timely manner, thanks in great part to their Fast Track procedure. I've been in about 7 times now to have the dressing changed and the infection monitored. It has almost completely gone away. I can't commend the staff, nurses and doctors enough for all their professionalism. The number of people in the emergency reception area varied day to day. Some times of day it looked like a scene out of ER after an MVA. At others, it was as calm as a rural clinic. Without a doubt, I'll only ever go there before I even think of St. Paul's.

To continue with the story of the infection, I can only say this about shaving: use an antibacterial soap, salve or ointment afterwards!

Beware of pricks...

2008-07-16T09:56:00.000+10:00

... according to the window display at Priape on Davie Street!

Sure, plenty of double-entendre to be had with those words.
Either way they are minced, still very good advice.
Somehow I missed the underwear sale at Priape :-(

But not the show put on by a FB who bought up half their supply.
Still awaiting his approval to post some of the photos I took.
I think I just may have a way to encourage him ;-)

But I won't be a prick about it.

Out of focus

2008-07-14T22:51:00.000+10:00

At the pool yesterday, I was rather hesitant to point my camera at all the hot guys.

Not looking for sympathy

2008-07-13T14:17:00.000+10:00

Vancouver General Hospital Triage Desk

I wasn't looking for sympathy when I tried getting in touch with him an hour ago. I knew he'd be sleeping it off after another night out and so I didn't want to call and wake him up. So I emailed instead. Then, I saw him on Skype - no, that was his mother. Then I saw him on MSN - well, yes but no, it was time for his lunch.

I'm heading to the hospital again because something is not right with something. I don't want to be too graphic, but I'll say that an infection which grew to surprising dimensions a couple of weeks ago seemed to aggravate another body part, which has in turn grown to unusual dimensions. Til now, I've only told him the full extent of what's going on. Now you know a little, too.

What I was looking for was some words of encouragement, some support, some something. What I got instead was concern about how much money it would cost me. He suggested I should just expect the best when I got to the triage desk. Having been 3 times already in the past couple of weeks, I'm hardly looking forward to being there alone, waiting for hours and then returning home to....

So, I procrastinate with gin. The pain is not as bad...

And now I find he's got better use of his time: cruising online. No, I don't expect sympathy. Just someone who cares enough to call or write when I'm in need.

Just friends

2008-07-08T19:54:00.000+10:00

My boyfriend's new boyfriend

It's not that I didn't know about him (I did encourage their first getting to know each other) and his likely role after I left my boyfriend in Beijing 4 months ago. But one day not too long ago I realised there was nothing more ever said about him, even though there were plenty of events both were likely to have attended. It hit me unexpectedly hard to recently discover online photo albums of the two of them in various states of cuddly friendship complete with their banter of comments peppered with sexual innuendo.

Naturally I had to say something to the boyfriend and naturally he had to reply they were just friends, though he did readily apologise repeatedly for intentionally downplaying their practically-platonic friendship. The reason he did it? Unknown, undisclosed and unlikely to be forthcoming. Because (?) I have opened up this can of worms, I am now subjected to hearing about their upcoming social calendar in overcompensating detail.

Since I came back to Vancouver not expecting to live alone for very long, I regularly refused to allow any number of new acquaintances the oppportunity to get too close, essentially resisting the urge to make friends with benefits. It seems a tad petty to say, "What a waste!" or "Now I'll make up for lost time". All in all, in light of what was kept from me and what's been going on out in the open in Beijing (and in online photo albums) for everyone else to see, I don't plan on changing my modus operandi.

But one thing is certain, I have to make more friends!

Update on 1 August: Some surprises in the way the BF's BF comes and goes in conversations with my BF, on my BF's blog and on one of our shared social networking sites. It's gradually hitting me - like a feather pillow - that I'm more amused than concerned at their follies. Still, the childish way in which it's being played out via status updates, their adding and removing each other as friends, and the mockery of their public game concerns me insofar as I worry how hard they will take it when(ever) my BF does return to Canada, leaving the other behind. Is this the point at which the terms schadenfreude, 幸灾乐祸 (xìngzāi lèhuò), and morose delectation (delectatio morosa) converge?

Bird watching

2008-05-29T14:18:00.000+10:00

No, not me.

My camera was certainly not focused on him
when the fog first rolled in early this afternoon.
But he insisted I take a few shots of him with the birds.

Packing up - 1

2008-05-27T06:32:00.000+10:00

Casting a long shadow at The Oasis

2 Beaches on Sunday

2008-05-21T15:25:00.000+10:00

English Bay

Kits Beach

Another pair

2008-05-15T08:29:00.001+10:00

Underwear from Thailand
modelled by me

Photo opportunity

2008-05-08T15:35:00.000+10:00

Not me, but an uncut subject

Found on my hard drive

2008-05-03T04:48:00.000+10:00

Misplaced

Devoured

2008-04-29T20:33:00.000+10:00

Leftovers

Naked body parts

2008-04-26T16:45:00.001+10:00

Tanning my legs at Wreck Beach

Gays "Too Precious To Risk In Combat"

2008-04-25T16:22:00.000+10:00

'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,' Says General

Vancouver's gay ghetto - The West End

2008-04-22T01:51:00.000+10:00

Unlike some people ...

2008-04-18T18:23:00.000+10:00

... these birds are not alone.

Follow the ->

2008-04-15T14:59:00.000+10:00

In the sand at Wreck Beach

Trail maintainer

2008-04-13T00:16:00.000+10:00

Keeping the path along the beach passable

Fully clothed at the nude beach

2008-04-12T05:55:00.000+10:00

When there's nobody around, what else is there to do?

From two parts of China

2008-04-10T16:22:00.001+10:00

Morning arrivals from Hong Kong & China

EAST

2008-04-09T07:28:00.000+10:00

EAST meets 東

Gay crackdown in China?

2008-04-03T01:59:00.000+10:00

A friend just told me about Oasis in Beijing being raided recently and I found the article here:

http://shanghaiist.com/2008/03/31/a_big_gay_crack.php

Video snapshot I took in front of Destination on 8/9 March.

How distressing that the guys at Oasis were detained and/or taken away! I truly hope they are all okay. That’s surely not going to be good for their business in the future. A real shame. Their new location near Dongsishitiao is a nice place - though not at all like a Western bath house, it was quite hopping with a nice mix of young/old & local/foreign guys … and action to be had all over the place.

I was inside Destination during the first police “raid” on the night of the 8th/9th March. If I recall correctly, it was at midnight that the music suddenly ended. Friends who had just arrived outside were not allowed in. Then before we went out to meet them, security told us we would not be allowed to re-enter. There were a couple of police cars outside with their lights flashing, but no obvious (uniformed) police presence inside.I departed China as previously scheduled a couple of days later, and since friends who have gone to Destination said it’s not as busy as it was before the brief closure. (Perhaps not a bad thing as it was sometimes packed beyond comfort.)

China is generally not gay-unfriendly. My Chinese partner & I held hands everywhere we went - though we are certainly not out to his family. If there’s any complaint I have about being gay in Beijing, it’s that there aren’t enough gay bars or venues.

Taking flight at YVR

2008-04-01T02:30:00.001+10:00

Sunday at Vancouver International Airport (YVR)

Impatiently awaiting...

2008-03-31T11:21:00.001+10:00

...my love's arrival.

Just what is he waiting for?
- Too unlikely, (t)his reason.

Just how long will he wait?
- More than me.

Just how long should I wait?
- Til I get an (honest?) answer.

Just how long can I wait?
- Til I am lonelier than I am now.

This is way too much like waiting last year ....
But now, it's starting to get unpleasant at all the unknowns.

I've begun to mentally prepare that he won't come to Canada.
In that case, I won't hesitate to go to China for him.

More than that though, it's why there had to be this separation.
Do I really want to know the answers to all the questions I have?

Doubting I will ever be able to accept this kind of separation again.

Comfy fit

2008-03-31T04:05:00.001+10:00

It has to do with that pouch!

Gay St.

2008-03-29T16:39:00.001+10:00

Every city has one

Anti-gay graffiti

2008-03-26T09:21:00.000+10:00

It happens in the best of places

Bye to Beijing

2008-03-15T16:23:00.000+10:00

再见!

Shhh - don't tell anyone.

2007-11-23T14:04:00.000+10:00

Yay!
I found a back door to the GFW.
It appears that I can post and view my own drafts, however I'm unable to view my blog directly.
Has something to do with the domain names 'blogger' (good) & 'blogspot' (bad).

At the end of the day, who cares?

Setting Sail for Destination Unknown

2007-11-11T14:42:00.000+10:00

Tickets & passport in hand, packed & ready to go.
Preparations until now have gone smoothly.
Surprisingly so.

Working every day - even on the departure date.
There'll be the last minute cleaning & storing of personal effects.
My life in Vancouver will be put on hold while I'm in China.

I was going there for him.
However he's not been there for me.
Now the real uneasiness stirs.

So much for him.
So little in return.
So now it's up to me - alone.

Last minute doubts

2007-11-05T16:32:00.000+10:00

I actually have very few.

But they are there.
They linger.
They nag.

So I do burn the midnight oil.
But not over my doubts.
They don't keep me up.
They challenge me.

They show me their mysteriousness.
They even appear to be logical.
They will be deciphered.
I pay little heed.

I set out to overcome them.
I am in no way prepared.
Yet I do find the way.
In my own time.

Say what you mean, mean what you say

2007-11-03T12:03:00.000+10:00

You may think it's not a lie if you don't believe it yourself.

Of course, you could do whatever you want -
regardless of my wishes for your welfare.

Just don't expect me to be there when you still don't get
how your actions speak louder than your words.

Sleeping less in Seattle

2007-11-02T08:21:00.001+10:00

Through some window at 3am, I stopped in my tracks upon seeing this arrangement. I felt at peace for about 2 seconds before a group of louts hooted and hollered like barnyard animals in a burning building. They danced upon parked cars and made such fools of themselves. Worse yet, this was the gay neighbourhood of Seattle on a Tuesday night. Not sure I'd like to see the weekend here. Must be something akin to Vancouver's Davie Street cross-dressed into Granville Street. I was confounded by the dichotomy of rudeness and politeness. Americans believe Seattle to be the friendliest and most polite of their cities. Yet when I asked if I could use Canadian dollars at one establishment, I was told by the queeny troll at the cash register, "Honey, this is the United States of America. Why would we accept foreign money?" I minded my tongue, but under my breath I could barely hold back, "Because your currency is worth less every day , sweetheart". Entering the US was typically a stupid ordeal. The border agent was no less pathetic. When asked if I were married, I looked at him like, "Do you really want to know my relationship status? Because I will tell you, but surely you don't want to go into that."
He didn't believe anything I told him and challenged me on every point. What a goon. Like I'd gone to an Al Queda training camp or something. He was, however, kind enough to let me enter the Excited States of América without strip-searching me. That was kind of him.

The pressure

2007-10-25T11:35:00.001+10:00

There was, as it would happen, hardly any pressure to be found, other than to get there at a decent hour. I almost called in sick in order to get there earlier. Luckily I didn't because I got there just in time for the drag show. It was fun and light-hearted. Only 50 or so people showed up. Unsurprising, I knew half of the crowd. Best of all was hearing DJ Quest seamlessly spin a fine variety of remixes to the tunes we endlessly play at the gym. Why he had to keep giving me drink tickets, I'll never know. I paid for it the following morning when I had to be up at 4am, then work at the gym for 8 hours.

Shanghai, again?

2007-10-24T00:58:00.001+10:00

Standing on the pier

Why I should fret over his going to Shanghai is beyond me. Perhaps it was because I suggested it and he said so many things to make me believe he wouldn't go without me because he didn't want to anywhere new without me. Sweet, but now sour, even bitter. Of course it's really unlikely Shanghai will be any easier for him to get that visa. But it's a good excuse, as excuses go. Having refused one ticket there, I won't refuse a second one. No way - not this time. So I must get there before the 10th of next month. Have a place to stay - several, actually. I will need time to meet those who've been kind, considerate and in touch with me - infinitely more frequently than he ever was. I think it's going to be the end of our relationship when I do make it to Beijing. Therefore, I'll likely stay only long enough to experience the cold & head south to a warmer climate. Thailand and Malaysia are looking like nice places to pass through when I have to exit in order to comply with my visa limitations. I wonder what Sanya is like.

Approach to Vancouver narrows

2007-10-15T10:23:00.000+10:00

Trans-Canada signage in North Vancouver

An old dog makes a new friend

2007-10-14T16:24:00.001+10:00

Jumping for Wook

Davie Day?

2007-10-14T00:30:00.000+10:00

When: Right now!

2007-10-13T19:25:00.000+10:00

I always enjoy happening across the BF's profile when on the web.
It's like finding an old photo of him - especially when there are photos of him!
He's rather furtive about it all when asked, so I've almost given up asking.

He's somewhat defensive, too. I was even accused of spying on him.
It can't really be spying when I type in the search box for his type,
and there he appears!

His photos are quite innocent compared to mine.
But the 'Flavour: What I'm Into' section is revealing enough.
Sure, there may be pangs of jealousy - but not as much as before.

I do wonder if I stop being jealous altogether will I stop caring for him.
It's impossible to say just how this open relationship will work.
His "I love you" is nice to hear, but falls flat when I see he's incapable of monogamy.

What's weird is coming across someone who knows him.
It's a surprisingly small online world at times.
Need to have a back-up plan.

Voicemail - better than nothing at all?

2007-10-06T06:08:00.000+10:00

His resistance to GTalk's voicemail was off-putting at first.
Not wanting to pester him directly, it seemed like the best alternative.
Now it's his preferred way of communicating with me.

Listening to his syrupy messages,
peppered with MSN Messenger chat & online notifications,
I melt as his sweet voice tells all.

You'd think he'd be happy when I called his cellphone or landline.
Too often he isn't and to show that leaves pregnant pauses.
I can never stay silent as long as he does, but I feel obliged to try

No more GWM 4 C2C?

2007-09-22T04:25:00.001+10:00

Days after opening my most recent online profile, I've decided to hold back from using it or any of the numerous ones I've built up over the years. My mailbox is filling up with ignored notices about new messages, friend requests and X number of hearts received.

I started using online sites to meet guys to C2C with when I spent 6 months on a small island off Newfoundland 3 years ago. Being one of the most unpopulated places in Canada, I took matters into my own hands in front of the webcam with guys from all over the world. Hardly surprising that I'm still in touch with some of them.

But I realised the other day that there are so many people I can meet in person that it seems almost pointless and such a waste of time to be spending so much time wanting to meet yet more people. There are times when travelling that it could be useful to go online, and so when in Beijing I did meet in person one of the cutest & hottest guys online after weeks of email back and forth. But here now in Vancouver, is there really any point to advertising myself?

Should I just keep on sending messages to cute boys telling them how cute they, how sexy their tight bodies are and how nice it would be to meet them for tea? My SO doesn't seem to mind.

Alas, I do mind that he does that. Just for sex. For just sex.

(small) ring of fire

2007-09-04T11:04:00.001+10:00

Trashed

2007-08-15T14:55:00.000+10:00

I found this crumpled up
piece of paper the other night
in the parking lot I always use
behind Davie Street.

A range of emotions passed over me on seeing this smiling face ... torn away from someone, perhaps, that made him happy enough to smile like that.

I glanced about to see if I could find the other pieces to this puzzle. I heard nothing heard and saw no one.

I may have felt compelled to pick up that ripped up and discarded piece of paper merely because it was unsightly litter, or was there something more to it?

Butt shot

2007-08-13T16:14:00.001+10:00

These are from Muji and fit very nicely.

Here is that butt shot.

A view from above

2007-08-04T17:42:00.000+10:00

So my pup is at this lake on the Chinese-Russian border.

It must be such a summery feeling - especially if they know the winters.....
Sure can't wait to see the photos!

Float plane on approach to Coal Harbour over Stanley Park. (Click to see full image.)

The wind in my hair

2007-08-03T14:50:00.001+10:00

I should have left well enough alone. The first trim I gave myself with the electric hair clippers at the weekend was seemingly easy enough, just a tad messy with hair everywhere - light work for my heavy duty vacuum cleaner. For whatever reason, I decided last night to trim up the sides a bit and certainly something had to be done about the excess length of hair on my nape. Before I knew it, I had cut a strip of hair along the sides and nape, starting at one temple then running the unguarded clippers all the way along the edge of the hairline to the other temple. I could've taken my time and gradually tapered the hairline in - over lots of time, but I was tired and thought it wouldn't be so bad having a buzz cut again. And I was right!

...work in progress....

2007-07-31T09:15:00.000+10:00

Boring, or what?

2007-07-30T20:15:00.000+10:00

Can't decide if
I like these underwear
or not?
They feel great,
but style-wise,
are they too big?

Perhaps you need more angles
before you make a decision.

Thursday evening

2007-07-20T10:24:00.000+10:00

There could be fanfare,
but there isn't
and perhaps there shouldn't.

In the 4 days since Ginger returned to his homeland after 3 years of unbridled Western exposure, i've sampled 4 unique delicacies:
a subtle Japanese 'teshoku' mostly balanced between east & west, eerily coincidental that it should come from the very same kitchen as my Ginger;
a fragrant African drink originally from the Caribbean which successfully took hold in Toronto and is will gain in popularity here on the West Coast with test marketing already underway in our Hollywood North ahead of its LA debut - possibly at the same time Ginger is due there;
a meaty German dish, with distinct Italian seasoning, and oddly Swiss reasoning;
a local hybrid of potato lacking substantially in taste, which surprised me because there was such a thick skin to this variety.

Though the tears have yet to end, the sobbing, thankfully, has.